Ultimate 100 Challenge #87: Speed Waterfalling

first_imgTwo BRO readers and longtime outdoor enthusiasts from Western North Carolina teamed up to complete  #87 of BRO’s Ultimate 100 Challenge….and they added a surprising and speedy twist.FootRx Asheville co-owner Scott Socha and MotionMap’s founder/waterfall tour guide Lydia Odell inaugurated Speed Waterfalling. The duo reached 23 waterfalls in a single day—all in Transylvania County.  The challenge included stops in Pisgah and Nantahala National Forests, Gorges State Park, DuPont State Recreational Forest and a few private properties. From each parking area, Socha and Odell ran/hiked together while navigating trails, tough terrain, streams, rivers and rocks to bag waterfalls one by one.  The two kept record of each waterfall viewed, time viewed and mileage. Total hiking/running mileage for the day was 11.5 miles.Socha and Odell had discussed this idea for at least a year and were ready to set the bar for other outdoor/waterfall enthusiasts who want a new, interesting and different challenge.Overall the day was fantastic. To be able to spend the day enjoying what Transylvania County and surrounding areas have to offer is something everyone should take part in whenever possible.Socha and Odell were prepared with a full tank of gas, cooler of food, plenty of water, first-aid kit, maps, footrx apparel, extra running shoes, wool socks, rain gear and a little cash for a 5:00 pm pint of Dale’s Pale Ale at Oskar’s Blues Brewery in Pisgah Forest.Here is a list of falls they visited:Twin FallsMiddle FallsSlippery WitchConnestee FallsWhitewater FallsTriple FallsJohn’s JumpHigh FallsD.E.W. FallsHooker FallsRainbow FallsLong ShoalsLooking Glass FallsTurtleback FallsShower FallsSlick Rock FallsRaven Rocks FallsDaniel Ridge FallsFrench Broad FallsBird Rock FallsEastatoe FallsBatson FallsUpper Batson FallsWant to find out more? Contact Lydia Odell to learn more about logistics and planning for the Speed Waterfall adventure.last_img read more

3 secrets to employee retention and executive development

first_imgWith the unemployment rate hitting a 50-year low of 3.6%, credit unions across the nation are competing like never before in a highly fluid job market. A 2018 Gallup pollfound that 51% of U.S. workers were looking for or applying for a new job, and with several top-tier banks raising their minimum wages to $15 per hour, wage pressures are growing.Average turnover rates for banks and credit unions peaked at 19.7% in 2018, according to BalancedComp’s annual salary and incentive survey. Average pay increase projections for 2019 reflect “the fastest market rate movement we have seen in eight years and definite proof that the typical 3% labor budget is not going to be adequate to stay competitive.”The community-focused mission of credit unions does a lot to increase loyalty among employees, but these days, employee retention, training and development, and succession planning are front-burner issues for many HR executives. ShareShareSharePrintMailGooglePinterestDiggRedditStumbleuponDeliciousBufferTumblr continue reading »last_img read more

PODCAST: Top cybersecurity threats

first_img Cybersecurity continues to be a top priority for credit unions and all businesses. And the coronavirus pandemic has done nothing to change that.Ransomware, email phishing attacks, and other threats remain at all-time high levels as criminal organizations use the internet to profit though illegal activity.Also, the rise of remote work arrangements continues to stress credit union networks and information technology departments.This episode of the CUNA News Podcast, sponsored by Cipher Security LLC, features Scott Croskey, the company’s global chief security officer. He addresses the top cybersecurity issues facing credit unions and how managed security service providers can augment credit union security programs. Scott Croskey continue reading »center_img ShareShareSharePrintMailGooglePinterestDiggRedditStumbleuponDeliciousBufferTumblrlast_img read more

Raheem Sterling: Manchester City boss Pep Guardiola says forward can get better | Football News

first_img– Advertisement – Sunday 8th November 4:00pm Guardiola added: “My advice, I would say to him, is don’t think about this. It makes no sense. Just enjoy the life, focus and destiny will dictate who he is as a player.“But he is one of the (most) fantastic players I ever had in my career as a manager.“Step by step. It depends on him and his performance.” Guardiola admits he would like to give Sterling a rest but his form has largely prevented that as City prepare for the visit of Liverpool to the Etihad in the Premier League on Sunday, live on Sky Sports. Pep Guardiola Pep Guardiola believes Liverpool are favourites to win the Premier League once again this season, but the Manchester City manager expects a strong challenge from other teams, including Tottenham and Chelsea. Pep Guardiola believes Raheem Sterling’s desire will ensure the forward continues to improve as the Manchester City manager emphasised his importance on the team.Sterling, 25, has developed into one of the world’s top talents under the Spaniard and has started 10 of City’s 11 games in all competitions this season, while he is also likely to be in action for England in the next fortnight.- Advertisement – “I think he is a better player than when he arrived and hopefully in four years he will be a better player than he is right now,” Guardiola said of Sterling, who joined City from Liverpool in 2015.“I think he is an exceptional player.- Advertisement – 1:25 Kick off 4:30pm “He has played all these minutes because of his physicality and (on Sunday) he will be there again.“Of course there will be a moment that he will take a rest but at the moment he is so important a player for us, that’s why we cannot give it.”Sterling has already scored six goals for club and country so far this season and Guardiola wants his player to remain grounded amid suggestions of winning future individual plaudits.- Advertisement – Guardiola is also hopeful his squad of international players come back “fit and safe” from the upcoming international break.City have had a difficult start to the season with injuries and positive coronavirus tests compounding problems of fatigue and a general lack of match fitness after their shortened pre-season preparations.“Honestly, I don’t want to think about it,” said Guardiola, who lost Kevin De Bruyne to injury for two games after the October international break.“I want after the game against Liverpool – for which everyone is completely focused – some days off.“We will pray like, I think, all the managers, when 13 to 14 players go with their international teams, that they will come back fit and safe.“But, at the same time, I don’t want to think about it. What is going to happen is going to happen.”last_img read more

Even as Trump Cut Immigration, Immigrants Transformed U.S.

first_imgThe students are the children of foreign-born workers who flocked to this town of 51,000 in the 1990s and 2000s to toil in the area’s meatpacking plants, where speaking English was less necessary than a willingness to do the grueling work.They came to Nebraska from every corner of the globe: Mexicans, Guatemalans and Hondurans who floated across the Rio Grande on inner tubes, in search of a better life; refugees who fled famine in South Sudan and war in Iraq to find safe haven; Salvadorans and Cambodians who spent years scratching for work in California and heard that jobs in Nebraska were plentiful and the cost of living low. Among them are Shikha Jaiswal, a nephrologist, and her husband, Nihit Gupta, a child and adolescent psychiatrist, who came to the United States from India to complete their residencies and are building their careers in a medically underserved area of West Virginia.Small-town America has come to rely on a pipeline of foreign doctors. “People have been very kind and grateful at the same time, making it a very rewarding experience,” Dr. Jaiswal said. The story of how millions of immigrants since the 1970s have put down lasting rootsacross the country is by now well-known. What is less understood about President Trump’s four-year-long push to shut the borders and put “America First” is that his quest may prove ultimately a futile one. Even with one of the most severe declines in immigration since the 1920s, the country is on an irreversible course to becoming ever more diverse, and more dependent on immigrants and their children.- Advertisement – Mr. Trump put much of the focus on disparaging refugees and immigrants as drains on public coffers and championing a wall on the southwestern border.Yet all the attention on the border ignored the much more significant growth in immigration that was happening elsewhere in the country.The number of immigrants of Asian origin grew by 2.8 million in the nine years ending 2019, more than from any other region. The biggest gains were among Indians and Chinese; the number of Mexicans dropped by 779,000.Many of the recent immigrants have settled in parts of the country where there is a low concentration of foreign-born people, including in states that voted for Mr. Trump in both 2016 and 2020. He has also said he would introduce legislation to offer a path to citizenship for people in the country illegally. Yet immigration remains a flashpoint for Americans, millions of whom have supported Mr. Trump’s clampdown, and pushing any substantial immigration reform through Congress will prove difficult as long as Republicans remain in control of the Senate.And in any case, Mr. Trump’s immigration legacy cannot be unraveled overnight. While some of the executive orders and memorandums that helped close off the border can be rolled back swiftly, hundreds of technical but significant changes made to the immigration system will take much longer to undo.But as Grand Island shows, nothing that Mr. Trump has done was able to halt the inexorable shifts unleashed by the biggest wave of immigration since the 1890s, when Southern and Eastern Europeans arrived in huge numbers pthrough Ellis Island.Even if immigration were to come to a standstill, their offspring would continue to reshape the country. The president since the moment he took office issued a torrent of orders that reduced refugee admissions; narrowed who is eligible for asylum; made it more difficult to qualify for permanent residency or citizenship; tightened scrutiny of applicants for high-skilled worker visas and sought to limit the length of stay for international students. His policies slashed the number of migrants arrested and then released into the country from nearly 500,000 in fiscal 2019 to 15,000 in fiscal 2020.The measures worked: “We are going to end the decade with lower immigration than in any decade since the ’70s,” said William Frey, a senior fellow at the Brookings Institution, who analyzed newly available census data.The president-elect, Joseph R. Biden Jr. has pledged to reverse many of the measures. He has vowed to reinstate Deferred Action for Childhood Arrivals, known as DACA, an Obama-era program that allowed young adults mainly brought to the United States illegally as children to remain, and to resume accepting refugees and asylum seekers in larger numbers.- Advertisement – In San Francisco, Vida Ahyong, 37, a U.S.-born daughter of Filipino immigrants, runs the Covid-19 diagnostic lab at the Chan Zuckerberg Biohub, overseeing a staff that includes younger Latino, African and Asian researchers who are also children of immigrants. One of them is Gloria Castañeda, 24, a Yale graduate, born in California to a janitor and a truck driver, both Mexican immigrants.The family of Aslan Kat, 17, was granted asylum in the United States after escaping the civil war in Syria five years ago. He is the captain of the varsity soccer team at Wayne Hills High School in Wayne, N.J., and hopes to play in college, where he plans to study engineering. Among his teammates are immigrants from Armenia, Cuba and Egypt.In 1920, the foreign-born accounted for 13.2 percent of the population. A backlash against Japanese, Southern Europeans and Jews, among others, resulted in national origin quotas adopted in 1924 that put an end to a large influx that had started in the late 1800s.It would take until the 1970s for immigration to climb steadily again, after the Immigration and Nationality Act of 1965 eliminated quotas and created a system based on family relationships and work categories.center_img GRAND ISLAND, Neb. — To grasp the impact of the latest great wave of immigration to the United States, consider the city of Grand Island, Neb.: More than 60 percent of public school students are nonwhite, and their families collectively speak 55 languages. During drop-off at Starr Elementary on a recent morning, parents bid their children goodbye in Spanish, Somali and Vietnamese.“You wouldn’t expect to see so many languages spoken in a school district of 10,000,” said Tawana Grover, the school superintendent who arrived from Dallas four years ago. “When you hear Nebraska, you don’t think diversity. We’ve got the world right here in rural America.”- Advertisement – In 1992, only 50 Hispanics were enrolled in Grand Island’s schools. By 2001, there were 1,600 out of about 7,600 students. Now, Latinos account for more than half of the 10,000 students in the district, and there is no forecast that does not show that proportion continuing to accelerate.A surge in arrivals into the U.S. began in the 1970s, gathered strength in the 1980s and crested in the early 2000s. Millions of Latin Americans have come. There also has been spectacular growth in the number of Asians, who outnumbered foreign-born Hispanics between 2010 and 2019. The new immigrants are more likely than native-born Americans to have a college degree and are integrated into every level of the economy. This is even more true of their children. The foreign-born population grew by 5.6 million in the ’80s, 8.8 million in the ’90s and 11.3 million in the 2000s.By the time Mr. Trump took office, this contemporary wave of immigration had lifted the foreign-born population to 44.5 million, representing 13.7 percent of the population, the biggest share since 1910. Among them were about 11 million undocumented immigrants. During his first week in office, the president introduced a travel ban to halt the entry of people from many Muslim countries and paused refugee resettlement, citing terrorist threats.As Central American migrants fleeing violence and poverty showed up at the border by the busload, his administration introduced policies to deter them, including the separation of migrant children from their parents.He was able to do it by bypassing a Congress that has long been deadlocked on immigration reform, issuing a series of executive orders and proclamations that rapidly shut the door on immigration despite a flurry of legal challenges.“Trump has demonstrably proven that you don’t need a grand deal to tackle immigration and border security,” said James Carafano of the Heritage Foundation, a conservative think tank.Average net migration shrank by 45 percent between 2017 and 2019 from an average of 953,000 during the previous seven years, as fewer immigrants arrived and more left, according to a Center for Immigration Studies analysis of census data.There will be an even more precipitous decline recorded by the close of 2020 following visa restrictions imposed by the president amid the coronavirus pandemic.“This year is truly unprecedented in how dramatic and fast this decline in immigration has been,” said David Bier, an immigration analyst at the libertarian Cato Institute. “Outside of wars and the Great Depression, we have never seen a level of immigration like we are seeing right now.” The children of immigrants who are already here will continue to make the United States more diverse: The 2020 census is expected to show that more than half of people under 18 are people of color.“The mainstream now increasingly includes people who are nonwhite, particularly from immigrant backgrounds,” said Richard Alba, a sociology professor at the City University of New York Graduate Center.The movement of the baby boom generation out of the labor force amid a plummeting birthrate is accelerating the trend and intensifying the need for new immigrant labor to pay the Social Security and Medicare bills for retiring Americans.“It’s not that native-born kids can’t take the boomers’ jobs; it’s that there are not enough of these kids to take them,” said Dowell Myers, a demographer at the University of Southern California who researches the subject.That diversity is already being reflected in the higher rungs of the work force.For much of the second half of the 20th century, white workers held a virtual monopoly on the best-paying positions. But by 2015, among top-earning workers under 50, about a third were nonwhite, mainly Latinos or Asians of immigrant origin, according to research by Mr. Alba, who predicts that their share will only grow.A study released last month found that nearly 30 percent of all students enrolled in colleges and universities in 2018 hailed from immigrant families, up from 20 percent in 2000. “When you start having cohorts of college graduates that are so diverse, it’s going to change the work force, which means more people from diverse backgrounds moving into positions of authority and high remuneration,” Mr. Alba said. “There’s no going back.” – Advertisement –last_img read more

More than 22 offers were made on this home when it was listed, now it has sold for well above its price guide

first_imgMore from newsMould, age, not enough to stop 17 bidders fighting for this home3 hours agoBuyers ‘crazy’ not to take govt freebies, says 28-yr-old investor3 hours ago17 Royds St, Carina. Picture: realestate.com.auHe said interest was very strong for the home with 109 potential buyers through during the first open house.Mr Bullen believed it was the deck and pool area which really appealed to potential buyers.It has sold to a young couple who live a street behind the home.Mr Bullen said many potential buyers, priced out of neighbouring suburbs had started to focus on Carina. 17 Royds St, Carina. Picture: realestate.com.auThe home attracted very strong interest even though it technically didn’t have a dining room as the kitchen opened out onto a deck. 17 Royds St, Carina. Picture: realestate.com.auThe home been extensively renovated throughout. It has polished hardwood timber floors with the renovations also upgrading electrical, plumbing, painting gutters and downpipes.center_img 17 Royds St, Carina. Picture: realestate.com.auMORE than 100 people turned out to inspect this Carina house during its first open and 22 offers were made, it has now sold for well above its price guide.The home at 17 Royds St, Carina was listed for offers of more than $699,000.Marketing agent Craig Bullen of REMAX First Residential – Coorparoo said it now had an unconditional contract on it for $760,500.last_img read more

​Wednesday people roundup

first_imgPPF, Barclays, RPMI Railpen, Aviva Investors, Willis Towers Watson, BlackRock, Prudential, AustralianSuper, PASA, Pensions Dashboard, HQ Capital, Muzinich & Co, Baring Asset Management, Macquarie Investment Management, Columbia Threadneedle, Spence Johnson, Deloitte, PhaseCapital, AllianceBernstein, River and Mercantile Asset ManagementPension Protection Fund (PPF) – The UK lifeboat scheme has created a new role in connection with its move to increase internal investment management, appointing former Barclays banker Ian Scott as head of investment strategy. Scott has worked for more than 20 years on the sell side, most recently at Barclays, as head of the global equity strategy team. Before that, he was at Lehman Brothers and Nomura.RPMI Railpen – Anna Rule has been appointed to the new role of head of property as the scheme looks to increase its in-house investment capabilities. Rule, a senior director and fund manager at Aviva Investors, will take up the position in the new year. Railpen, which manages the £24bn (€27.9bn) Railways Pension Scheme in the UK, has been shifting towards more in-house investments.Willis Towers Watson – Ashwin Belur and Dhiran Dookhi have been appointed to the Insurance Investment Solutions Group. Belur joins from BlackRock and before then held a variety of senior investment and insurance-related positions at Goldman Sachs, ABN AMRO and Brit Insurance. Dookhi is a Fellow of the Institute and Faculty of Actuaries and joins from Prudential, where he was a risk actuary working on enterprise risk management. AustralianSuper – Australia’s largest super fund has formally established a presence in London, opening an office in King’s Cross. Trish Curry leads the team. AustralianSuper’s head of external relations, Stephen McMahon, told IPE Real Estate the fund was basing staff in London because of AustralianSuper’s increasing involvement in direct investments, “particularly global property and infrastructure deals”.Pensions Administration Standards Association (PASA) – The independent body dedicated to driving up standards in pensions administration has announced that its chairman, Margaret Snowdon OBE, has been appointed by HM Treasury to the senior level Steering Group for the Pensions Dashboard prototype project. Snowdon will be one of two independent members of the Steering Group, representing the pensions industry.HQ Capital – Georg Wunderlin has been appointed chief executive at the alternatives asset manager, while Ernest Boles has taken on the role of vice-chairman of executive management. Marcel Giacometti is to become a senior adviser. Wunderlin, who has been working at HQ Capital and its predecessor companies since 2012, succeeds Boles, who will continue to advise HQ Capital on its operations.Muzinich & Co – Tracy Zhao, who previously worked for Aozora Asia Pacific Finance, has joined as a credit analyst on Muzinich’s Asia investment team. She is based in London. Global high-yield specialist Kashif Riaz has joined from Baring Asset Management, where he covered a range of sectors. Prior to Barings, he was lead credit analyst for the European TMT and utilities sectors at BlackRock. He is also based in London.Macquarie Investment Management – Markus Rottler has been appointed as head of distribution for the German professional buyer market. Prior to joining Macquarie, Rottler spent five years at Columbia Threadneedle, focusing on the professional buyer and institutional client segments. Before then, he spent seven years at Pioneer Investments.Spence Johnson – The data analytics and market intelligence consultancy focused on institutional asset management has hired Thomas Marsh to help grow and serve its US business. He joins from Deloitte and has 23 years of experience in asset management, primarily as a director at Cerulli Associates.PhaseCapital – Michael DePalma has been appointed chief executive at the Boston-based asset manager, joining from AllianceBernstein, where he most recently served as senior vice-president and CIO of quantitative investment strategies and director of fixed income absolute return strategies.River and Mercantile Asset Management – Gary Dowsett has been appointed as a global analyst. He has previoujsly worked at Phillips & Drew (UBS Global Asset Management), Willis Towers Watson, Schroders and Taube Hodson Stonex Partners.last_img read more

IPE Conference and Awards 2019: Event Buzz

first_img Lars Rohde speaking at the IPE Conference and Awards 2019“Pension consultants think QE is a Faustian bargain, a bargain made with the devil you can never get out of. And that’s because QE has become deeply ingrained in the psyche of investors.”– Amin Rajan, CEO of CREATE-Research. ATP was named European Pension Fund of the Year. The top prize was one of six awards scooped by Denmark’s biggest pension fund.Conference buzz“There is now a lot of activity focused on reducing risks. But the biggest risk is that you will not achieve any returns in the coming decades.”– Jaap van Dam, director of investment strategy at €238bn Dutch asset manager PGGM and chair of the European chapter of the 300 Club.  “It is you [as an asset owner] who has to decide with your advisers what is a Paris-aligned world, because you can only decide Paris-alignment based on a full self-sufficient economy. No individual company or sector can claim Paris-alignment because there are way too many assumptions about the other sectors.”– Andreas Hoepner, professor at University College Dublin and an independent member of the technical expert group advising the European Commission on sustainable finance. “There’s a squeeze between longevity issues – people are not dying according to plan any longer and it’s also a global phenomenon – and on the other hand very low expected returns in the future, so something has to give.”“To put it bluntly, if my pension is invested in long-term illiquid assets, I would prefer my pension company to be run by a younger CEO.”– Lars Rohde, governor of the central bank Danmarks Nationalbank The annual IPE Conference and Awards 2019 took place in Copenhagen, during 3 and 4 December.The conference highlighted and explored the most essential topics and challenges facing Europe’s highly diverse pensions industry, including sustainable finance, risk, reward and liquidity, and other political and economic challenges that the 2020s will bring.Leading industry players discussed solutions in open debates, keynote presentations and specially designed panels during a thought-provoking comprehensive two-day event, which also featured dedicated sponsor-led investor workshops.The evening awards ceremony celebrated various categories, including gold awards (best European pension fund, outstanding contribution, pension fund achievement of the year, and long-term investment strategy), silver, bronze, country/regional, and themed awards.  Jaap van Dam at PGGM“Never in my career at any time has it ever seemed like it wasn’t a particularly difficult and uncertain period”– Chris Brightman, CIO of Research Affiliates “Today’s externalities are predictors of tomorrow’s risk, which is why investors need to know them.”– Pavan Sukhdev, founder and CEO of GIST Advisory; president of WWF international; former special adviser and head of UNEP’s green economy initiative.last_img read more

Style your home on any budget

first_img IMPROVE THE VALUE OF YOUR HOME ON ANY BUDGET New York bidder secures inner Brisbane investment FOLLOW THE COURIER-MAIL REAL ESTATE TEAM ON FACEBOOK New carpets and rugs always add value. Photo: supplied Brass handles, pendant lights and tapware give a cool space a touch of warmth. Photo: supplied This house at 34 White St, Graceville has been styled for sale by Cape Cod Residential. Photo: suppliedEvery house deserves its wedding day and professional staging may help pay for a honeymoon as well.But former Housing Industry of Australia property stylist of the year, Anne-Maree Russell, says there’s some simple things a seller can do to improve the perceived value of their home before the final dressing. The main living zones at 34 White St, Graceville.“Paint, paint, paint,” Ms Russell said. $100 — paint Try neutral paint tones to brighten smaller rooms. Photo: supplied $5000 — paint, landscaping and new carpets MORE PROPERTY STORIES Give the garden a makeover and don’t forget street appeal. Photo: supplied “Paint is magic. It’s the most important thing.“If we’re talking to sellers six months in advance, our advice is there’s no need to put on a deck, but freshen up the paint, replace the carpets, put some plants at the front door and create a better first impression.”Working with a brand new Hamptons-style home like 34 White Street at Graceville from Sabdia Constructions, the challenge has been to accentuate the possibilities.“Ninety per cent of people cannot visualise furniture in a home,” she said.“So we want to show people scale and what furniture fits in what rooms and we also want to sell them a dream of what it would be like to live there.” The outdoor entertainment area and pool at 34 White St, Graceville. Photo: suppliedMuhammad Sabdia builds between 15-20 homes a year mainly in Brisbane’s inner south east but in the south western suburb of Graceville he found a 582sq m corner block that gave him a 40m street frontage.“I spend a lot of time on design, the layout for that corner blook in general is what works the best,” Mr Sabdia said.“And then you have the really large living, dining and kitchen area with a grand void and the connection between the kitchen, pantry, scullery, mud room and garage, that really flows well.” The functional layout includes ample shelving in the pantry. Photo: suppliedMs Russell has given the five-bedroom, four-bathroom home a coastal luxe theme, starting with brushed brass accents to match the tapware, chandeliers and wall sconces. The bathroom at 34 White St, Graceville. Photo: suppliedCool whites and greys, underscored by the light Herringbone oak floors, are complemented with soft blue accessories with navy velvet as a centrepiece. Navy velvet highlights accentuate the home’s high end finishes. Photo:Anne-Maree Russell has invested five years’ worth of real estate profits into exquisite designer furniture and accessories to style the properties she sells through Cape Cod Residential.Currently her warehouse has enough stock to style up to 25 homes, from luxury pads to the humble first home, and she says a properly styled home could add between $5000 to 25 per cent to the sale price of a property.“Our sweet spot is those family homes around the $800,000 to $1.5 million. That’s where the majority of the buyers are.”She said an average home can be fully staged using between $30,000 to $50,000 worth of furniture and additional props.More from news02:37International architect Desmond Brooks selling luxury beach villa7 hours agoParks and wildlife the new lust-haves post coronavirus9 hours ago $10,000 — paint, landscaping, new carpets, and rejuvenate the kitchen and bathrooms with new handles, fresh tiles and a splashback $1000 — paint and rejuvenate the landscaping Wednesday deadline for Skate Bowl Houselast_img read more

Polyamory Isn’t Good for Children: My Story

first_imgPublic Discourse 11 May 2015Recently, I had a discussion about marriage with someone who calls herself a “Darwinian gay feminist.” I asked her, “Is there any principled reason that marriage should be limited to only two people? There is now such a thing as a ‘throuple’—a three-way relationship. Should they have a right to marry?” She replied, “A union between three consenting adults? I see nothing wrong with it. The same goes for incest. It’s none of my business.”I take it that she was serious in her response. Given that she believes marriage should be redefined to include same-sex couples, I suppose that makes sense. If marriage is just an emotional and loving union focused on satisfying the desires of adults, then including three or more members in this union is only logical. But her position seems to discount the fact that there might be more than just consenting adults involved. What about children who are raised by three- or four-person groups?This isn’t just a hypothetical question. Last April, the New York Post published a story with this headline: “Married lesbian ‘throuple’ expecting first child.” The youngest member of the throuple and the biological mother, Kitten, said, “The three of us have always wanted kids and wanted to grow our family.” This might be their desire, but is this right for children? Is being raised by a throuple good for children?I am particularly sensitive to this question, because my own childhood gave me a glimpse of what it is like to be raised in such a household.Let me explain.My StoryI grew up in a household living with not only my mother and father, but also my half-brother and his mother. My father had two kids: one with my mom (me) and one with another woman (my half-brother, who was three months older than I). When my mother was not there, I would see my father and my half-brother’s mother kiss and cuddle. When my half-brother’s mom wasn’t there, I would see my mother and my father kiss and cuddle. Although I was very young, these images still remain with me.My mother and the mother of my half-brother were best friends. When they were in their late teenage years, they came from Guatemala together to the United States and developed a bond on their journey. My half-brother and I got along very well, but having the same father yet different moms in the household was confusing and troubling. It was confusing and troubling for me because I was never the center of my father’s attention, especially when he would mistreat my mom and when he would show affection to my half-brother’s mom. I hated seeing my father show affection to another woman who was not my mom.When I was six years old, my father broke off ties with all of us and started a new family with a third woman. It was at this point that my half-brother’s mother and my mother went their separate ways. From that point onward, my mother raised me by herself.Although this complicated romantic situation was not technically a “throuple,” because the adults each had their own beds and did not engage in three-person sexual acts, it gives a glimpse of what children would experience in such a household. I grew up seeing my father kiss and cuddle with two different women in front of me. This was the life I was exposed to until the age of six.As a teenager, I found myself following the relationship patterns my father had modeled, even though he had not been part of my life for over ten years. I would always have two or more girlfriends at the same time.What exactly explains this behavior? I am not sure, but I have a hunch that my childhood experiences played a major role. As an adult, I look back to my childhood and wonder: in all the turmoil and the romantic entanglements of my parents’ lives, where was the concern for my well-being? In our debates about the social and legal acceptance of polyamory, I fear that we are not sufficiently considering the children who might end up being raised by throuples. How will their future behavior be shaped by their upbringing?Is Polyamory Empowering?Some scholars argue that polyamory is a good thing—that it is empowering for women and helps children to be more tolerant of others. According to Elisabeth Sheff, “Polyamorous relationships provide women with more power in their relationships, allows some women to reject sexual and gender roles, allows sexuality to be viewed as a source of unity among some women, and empowers women’s high sexual drive.”But what about the children? Deborah Anapol, a clinical psychologist, interviewed adults in multi-adult relationships as well as children reared in those contexts. In her view,Polyamory breaks down cultural patterns of control as well as ownership and property rights between persons and, by replacing them with a family milieu of unconditional love, trust, and respect, provides an avenue to the creation of a more just and peaceful world. By changing the size, structure, and emotional context of the family, the personalities of the children developing in these families naturally change. Children learn by example.The unspoken—and untrue—premise implicit in this argument is that permanent, exclusive, faithful heterosexual marriages are based on nothing but a masked urge to “own” another human being, as if he or she were an object. Ironically, such objectification is actually more in line with the nature of polyamorous relationships, in which a partner is used to fulfill certain emotional needs but is supplemented by one or more others. Rather than committing to a single person in all of his or her complexity, weakness, and strength, those who choose polyamory try to acquire a collection of attributes that will contribute to their own enjoyment and perceived well-being.http://www.thepublicdiscourse.com/2015/05/14780/?utm_source=The+Witherspoon+Institute&utm_campaign=4b90b65d32-RSS_EMAIL_CAMPAIGN&utm_medium=email&utm_term=0_15ce6af37b-4b90b65d32-84094405last_img read more